A lot of people look for love and some are lucky enough to find it. However, most relationships don’t last very long because of several reasons. Some of these are beyond our control but many of them are. We need to focus on the things that we can influence through our behaviors if we are to make our relationships stable, lasting, and meaningful. Change can only come from within. We need to be honest with ourselves to find out what we could do better the next time around. Before you think about how to get your ex-boyfriend back, or your girlfriend, you have to lay the foundation for a better future. Avoid the following destructive behaviors:
We all have secrets that we keep close to our chest. We are entitled to them and the choice to tell anyone is purely our own. After all, it’s hard to know who you can trust in this world. Trust is a big issue in romantic relationships, not only in terms of entanglements but also when it comes to family matters and even finances. Anything that could potentially affect your partner should be shared with no hesitation. If you feel like you will have trouble explaining why you are about to do something, then maybe it shouldn’t be done at all so that there will be no secrets later on.
They say that the longest distance between two people is silence and there is a lot of truth to this. Couples are often apart due to work or study but the gap can be bridged by constant communication. We are lucky to live in a world where sending a message is quick and easy. This wasn’t always the case. Despite our ability to communicate almost instantaneously regardless of distance, couples can still fall silent due to misunderstandings and fights. The longer these persist, the more doubts can creep into the gaps. Sometimes the ego gets in the way of reconciliation. Try not to let it.
Relationships may also be strained due to codependancy. Some measure of reliance cannot be taken out of the equation because of the nature of the bond. There is, at the very least, an emotional attachment between couples. Both desire validation and affection that only their partner can give. However, this need should not blind us to the fact that we are moving in a larger world filled with friends, family, and co-workers. Instead of having everything revolve around one person, we should strive for a holistic social life. Financial dependence should also be avoided as much as possible. In case things break down, we should be able to stand on our own two feet immediately.
The irony of many relationships is that couples become more mean to each other than they would be with other people. Perhaps this is due to the higher expectations that we have for our partner. We expect them to be close to perfect: almost able to read our minds without us saying anything, attuned to our personal tastes, and better than the other people we chose not to pursue. These are massive assumptions that should be quashed. We are all just flawed humans who may falter from time to time. No one deserves to be insulted when we’re going through our lows.
Sometimes it doesn’t become as toxic as previously described but relationships can still die out over time from neglect. We might not even be conscious of it but we are killing the bond by going through the motions without thinking of our partner. We start to miss important dates, forget to make calls, and fail to deliver on our promises. There might not be any big fights but the slow erosion of affection has the same end result. Sooner or later, couples split because they no longer feel fulfilled or loved. They look outside for the things they miss.
These are just some of the things that you should watch out for when you are in a relationship. Many of us are guilty of these at some point in our lives. The important thing is to learn from our mistakes and grow from them so that the next ones will not suffer the same fate. Perhaps we might even get lucky and have another chance with a person from our past.